Answering Upsetting Thoughts

 

Click here to listen to my podcast instead!

Dear readers welcome back to my blog! I hope you find this post to be both motivating and worthwhile. 😊I've just been in circumstances when I nearly panicked and froze. I've been spending far too much time indoors until my friends and I finally decided to get together after such a long time. I hosted visitors at my place, picked up my father from the airport, went shopping for clothes, and attended my neighbor's wedding. Geez, I was exhausted! I recharged my social batteries for the entire month. Never before have I struggled so hard to socialize with others. Conversations are becoming increasingly difficult these days. Breaking away from my everyday routine had a significant influence on how I acted in different social settings.

 And, yeah, I blame the Covid-19 pandemic for that! For months, I've been tied to my laptop and desk, taking online classes, browsing the internet, and streaming movies nonstop. Without realizing it, I had surreptitiously become socially anxious, and negative thoughts of low self-esteem began to seep back in. I became highly self-conscious and found it incredibly difficult to communicate with people without classifying my views as right or wrong. It was often difficult to speak with the waiter at the restaurant or to bargain in the local shops like I used to. 😂I would say things and then relive the same events over and over again, believing that what I had said was wrong, so I would spend time fixing all those situations before going to bed, or I would always be thinking about the worst-case scenarios before even beginning a task. It was quite daunting until I eventually resolved to take action. I wanted to compile all of my thoughts from this tremendously hectic month to observe them. 

If you can relate to any of this, please know that you are not alone and that it is possible to alter your thought patterns. Below is a record of my thoughts and feelings in specific situations:💬

Thought record for identifying thoughts

Specific Situations：	Feelings:	Thoughts, impressions...
1. Going out with friends	Panicky, shaky, heart races	They’ll think I am odd. My jokes ain’t funny, I suck at bowling.
2. Meeting feedback from mentor	Nervous, worried	She thinks am making no progress at all.
3. An acquaintance/ a guest drops in.	Embarrassed	I can’t relax and be normal.
4. Can’t find words when speaking	Flustered, mortified	I stutter a lot, I can’t do simple things right.
5. Thought I’d said the wrong thing.	Ashamed, fearful, guilty	I’m red as is humanly possible.

 

These are only a few examples. I would advise you to keep a journal or a notebook with you at all times to spot any problematic thought patterns and write them down.

  

It is vital to be as exact as possible in examining your emotions and ideas because they are easily forgotten. As a result, always begin with the most recent memories and begin recognizing those ideas. It might be about unique circumstances you've been through. Make a mental note of how you felt at the time. It is critical to recognize your feelings. Burying them will only cause them to emerge later, and perhaps cause more harm than good.

THINK ABOUT YOUR THINKING!

Below are some of the things that we tend to do and that we should stop doing:

1. Taking things personally

2. Feeling responsible for things that are not your fault.

3. Mind reading -Believing that you know what people are thinking; in other words, you are always making assumptions.

4. Neglecting the positive-Rejecting nice things as if they were unimportant. Likewise, refusing to accept compliments.

5. Catastrophizing-constantly expecting or fearing the worst.

(e.g, believing that if you start a relationship on the wrong foot, it would be doomed or you will never find love again...)

6. Generalizing- Just because you were clumsy once doesn't indicate you'll always be clumsy at doing things correctly.

7. Foretelling the future (e.g., "I'll always be on my own" or "I'll never be able to make it this far").

8. Labelling- Putting a label on yourself or others without understanding who they are. (For example, these folks are unpleasant hostile, and antagonistic.) 

9. Optimistic thinking ((e.g: If only I were smarter, younger, and more attractive...)

10. Emotional reasoning- Feeling incompetent in your skills just because of how you feel at the time, and so confusing feelings for facts.

 

Do any of the above describe you?😖Here are some things you can do to counteract these beliefs!! I've tried a few of these and they work well for me. Nowadays, I can get a decent night's sleep without running repeated past scenarios in my head. One of the most important things you can do to feel better is to seek out alternative ways of thinking.

 

Once you've identified your thoughts, you may re-examine them, challenging them rather than simply accepting them as realities! It is critical to understand that categorizing your beliefs as right or wrong will not assist you in any way. Nobody except YOU thinks in terms of right and wrong; there are innumerable ways to do things, and it makes little difference which you select.People are far more interested in what you believe than in whether or not you do things the 'right' way. Doing things differently piques people's interest, but nothing more.

It is critical to challenge your troubling thoughts and here is HOW!

Perhaps asking yourself these questions will make a difference. Well, it certainly did for me.

1. What exactly are the facts? What are the shards of proof you have to back up your claims? What proof do you have against it? Which method of thinking corresponds best to the facts? The mere fact that you believe something does not make it so!

2. What other options do you have? What would you think if you were more self-assured? What may someone else think about this situation? What would you say to someone else who is thinking in this way? What would someone who cared say to you?

 

3. What is the worst possible way to look at things or the worst possible event that may happen? What is the finest way to look at things or what is the best thing that might happen? Which is the most plausible and likely to be correct?

 

4. What are the possible biases influencing your thinking? Are you making hasty judgments? Perhaps you're exaggerating or generalizing? Mind-reading? Is it possible to predict the future with certainty? Or perhaps dwelling on the bad at the expense of everything else?

 

5. What actions may you do that would be beneficial? What personal talents and abilities can you bring to the table to assist? Do you have any prior experience dealing with comparable issues? What can you do to make things better? Can you retain an open mind about what it implies if you can't change the situation?

 

Dear readers, thank you for taking the time to read everything from beginning to end! I hope that these few things may assist you in reshaping your thinking and finding good alternatives to your current thought habits!

Geshna.B🍀

Feel free to comment down below on which one of the above works the best for you!😀 Feel free to add some of your own in the comment section and share it with others. Thank you! 💖