Answering Upsetting Thoughts

 

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Dear readers welcome back to my blog! I hope you find this post to be both motivating and worthwhile. 😊I've just been in circumstances when I nearly panicked and froze. I've been spending far too much time indoors until my friends and I finally decided to get together after such a long time. I hosted visitors at my place, picked up my father from the airport, went shopping for clothes, and attended my neighbor's wedding. Geez, I was exhausted! I recharged my social batteries for the entire month. Never before have I struggled so hard to socialize with others. Conversations are becoming increasingly difficult these days. Breaking away from my everyday routine had a significant influence on how I acted in different social settings.

 And, yeah, I blame the Covid-19 pandemic for that! For months, I've been tied to my laptop and desk, taking online classes, browsing the internet, and streaming movies nonstop. Without realizing it, I had surreptitiously become socially anxious, and negative thoughts of low self-esteem began to seep back in. I became highly self-conscious and found it incredibly difficult to communicate with people without classifying my views as right or wrong. It was often difficult to speak with the waiter at the restaurant or to bargain in the local shops like I used to. 😂I would say things and then relive the same events over and over again, believing that what I had said was wrong, so I would spend time fixing all those situations before going to bed, or I would always be thinking about the worst-case scenarios before even beginning a task. It was quite daunting until I eventually resolved to take action. I wanted to compile all of my thoughts from this tremendously hectic month to observe them. 

If you can relate to any of this, please know that you are not alone and that it is possible to alter your thought patterns. Below is a record of my thoughts and feelings in specific situations:💬

Thought record for identifying thoughts

Specific Situations：	Feelings:	Thoughts, impressions...
1. Going out with friends	Panicky, shaky, heart races	They’ll think I am odd. My jokes ain’t funny, I suck at bowling.
2. Meeting feedback from mentor	Nervous, worried	She thinks am making no progress at all.
3. An acquaintance/ a guest drops in.	Embarrassed	I can’t relax and be normal.
4. Can’t find words when speaking	Flustered, mortified	I stutter a lot, I can’t do simple things right.
5. Thought I’d said the wrong thing.	Ashamed, fearful, guilty	I’m red as is humanly possible.

 

These are only a few examples. I would advise you to keep a journal or a notebook with you at all times to spot any problematic thought patterns and write them down.

  

It is vital to be as exact as possible in examining your emotions and ideas because they are easily forgotten. As a result, always begin with the most recent memories and begin recognizing those ideas. It might be about unique circumstances you've been through. Make a mental note of how you felt at the time. It is critical to recognize your feelings. Burying them will only cause them to emerge later, and perhaps cause more harm than good.

THINK ABOUT YOUR THINKING!

Below are some of the things that we tend to do and that we should stop doing:

1. Taking things personally

2. Feeling responsible for things that are not your fault.

3. Mind reading -Believing that you know what people are thinking; in other words, you are always making assumptions.

4. Neglecting the positive-Rejecting nice things as if they were unimportant. Likewise, refusing to accept compliments.

5. Catastrophizing-constantly expecting or fearing the worst.

(e.g, believing that if you start a relationship on the wrong foot, it would be doomed or you will never find love again...)

6. Generalizing- Just because you were clumsy once doesn't indicate you'll always be clumsy at doing things correctly.

7. Foretelling the future (e.g., "I'll always be on my own" or "I'll never be able to make it this far").

8. Labelling- Putting a label on yourself or others without understanding who they are. (For example, these folks are unpleasant hostile, and antagonistic.) 

9. Optimistic thinking ((e.g: If only I were smarter, younger, and more attractive...)

10. Emotional reasoning- Feeling incompetent in your skills just because of how you feel at the time, and so confusing feelings for facts.

 

Do any of the above describe you?😖Here are some things you can do to counteract these beliefs!! I've tried a few of these and they work well for me. Nowadays, I can get a decent night's sleep without running repeated past scenarios in my head. One of the most important things you can do to feel better is to seek out alternative ways of thinking.

 

Once you've identified your thoughts, you may re-examine them, challenging them rather than simply accepting them as realities! It is critical to understand that categorizing your beliefs as right or wrong will not assist you in any way. Nobody except YOU thinks in terms of right and wrong; there are innumerable ways to do things, and it makes little difference which you select.People are far more interested in what you believe than in whether or not you do things the 'right' way. Doing things differently piques people's interest, but nothing more.

It is critical to challenge your troubling thoughts and here is HOW!

Perhaps asking yourself these questions will make a difference. Well, it certainly did for me.

1. What exactly are the facts? What are the shards of proof you have to back up your claims? What proof do you have against it? Which method of thinking corresponds best to the facts? The mere fact that you believe something does not make it so!

2. What other options do you have? What would you think if you were more self-assured? What may someone else think about this situation? What would you say to someone else who is thinking in this way? What would someone who cared say to you?

 

3. What is the worst possible way to look at things or the worst possible event that may happen? What is the finest way to look at things or what is the best thing that might happen? Which is the most plausible and likely to be correct?

 

4. What are the possible biases influencing your thinking? Are you making hasty judgments? Perhaps you're exaggerating or generalizing? Mind-reading? Is it possible to predict the future with certainty? Or perhaps dwelling on the bad at the expense of everything else?

 

5. What actions may you do that would be beneficial? What personal talents and abilities can you bring to the table to assist? Do you have any prior experience dealing with comparable issues? What can you do to make things better? Can you retain an open mind about what it implies if you can't change the situation?

 

Dear readers, thank you for taking the time to read everything from beginning to end! I hope that these few things may assist you in reshaping your thinking and finding good alternatives to your current thought habits!

Geshna.B🍀

Feel free to comment down below on which one of the above works the best for you!😀 Feel free to add some of your own in the comment section and share it with others. Thank you! 💖

How to put more time on your side?

                         

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent -Poet Carl Sandburg

 I have been recently overwhelmed by the amount of work I had to complete in such a short period of time this week. I keep putting off meetings,  not hanging out with my pals and submitting tasks at the last minute because I believe I don't have enough time. Every day, as soon as I wake up, I hurry to my desk and make those long to-do lists, noting down all the things I might be able to complete that day. Academics, chores, workouts, acquiring new skills, and reading books are all examples of activities. Do you believe I'll be able to complete everything on my list? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I feel good at the end of the day when I check off the things I did do throughout the day, but when I look at the things I did not do, I feel horrible, so I write it down again on my to-do list for the following day and guess what, I don't manage to complete it the next day either. The sensation worsens until I sink into a deep sadness, convinced that I will never have enough time to do the things that truly meant to me.  Yes, time is finite; every one of us has the same 24 hours in a day. 

It is critical to understand how to make more time for yourself so that you may accomplish the things that bring you actual joy! Are there any side projects you've wanted to work on but haven't because you don't think you have the time? Perhaps you'd want to start your own business? or perhaps a book you'd want to write? A visit to an old friend or family member with whom you've lost touch? So, we've all got something! Take a minute to consider what you've been wanting to do but have been putting off due to a lack of time. Well, if we really want to do something, WE MAKE TIME FOR IT!

If you feel, you're not achieving as much as you know you can accomplish in any given day, then learning time management skills can help you become more productive. I have gathered a couple of tips that I used to put more time on my side. Trust me, this changed my whole time management game. I can go out, enjoy a lot more personal free time without the feeling of guilt that I need to be studying, working, or doing something else rather than living my moment.

1. Prioritize things

 I'm sure you've heard the term "prioritizing," but how many of us actually do it? Do you know what you're supposed to do today? Is it a priority you set for yourself, or is it established for you by someone else? (Related to employment) It is critical that we all focus on the priorities that people expect of us. That is how we are able to maintain our jobs.

So, first and foremost, determine what you should be doing. If you truly want to achieve your own objective of living a meaningful life, you must make time for your own priorities every day, at night, or on weekends. The ones you set for yourself, that will make all the difference in achieving your long-term and short-term goals. You can be a student, full-time employee, and still find the time to do the things you love!

2. De-clutter

Having a cluttered environment may significantly decrease your optimum productivity. If the entropy is high, it takes a longer time to sort out things. How do you feel when you see a pile of clothes lying around on your bed and now you have to dig through your clothes, making you late for school/work? Or having piles of books on your desk after finishing research work or doing an essay? Chaos and disorder create tension and steal your mental peace, making you feel bad about yourself. It takes much more time to find the things you really need. If you are the type of person who has to spontaneously clean up when guests unexpectedly drop in, these de-cluttering tips are definitely for you:

• Give away things you do not use anymore
• Recycle it
• Throw it out
• rearrange it so it has a proper space
• sell it 
• Store it somewhere out of sight 

3. Know YOURSELF

 Time-management=Self- management

It is really important that you get to know yourself. Knowing how your body works are critical to time management and productivity. To make optimum use of your time, you need to know when you have your peak energy and what kind of conditions that will enhance your focus. Are you someone who is highly efficient during the day or at night? I am definitely not a night owl because I value my sleep above all. Moreover, knowing what kind of person you are and what kind of environments work for you is important. Are you someone who enjoys studying in a cafe, hearing people talk, or do you prefer a more controlled and quiet environment like in a library? Similarly, knowing what kind of technology will aid you and which ones will shut you down. Getting to know yourself is critical in optimizing your productivity.

4. Find a mentor

A mentor is a knowledgeable and trustworthy counselor. It might be a teacher, a counselor, or someone working in the profession or topic you want to learn more about. Last year, I got myself a mentor, and I can assure you that it saved me a significant amount of time while working on my project. A mentor will help you see things from a professional perspective and will teach you the most important stuff. This saves you a lot of time and holds you accountable for how you use your energy and time, especially when speaking with others. I struggled with my organization skills, so my mentor taught me the art of task allotment and overcoming the fear of delegating. I learned the ability to delegate and to whom to delegate specific tasks. This indeed contributed to my success last year in organizing two successful events. And yes, delegating tasks is the best way to make up for most of your time, however, make sure you do appreciate the person you delegated the task to and value their contribution. Similarly, you should find yourself a mentor who can help you do your things in a small amount of time rather than always trying to figure out all the things by yourself!

5. Be more in control of the use of technology 

Hahaha, this one is quite challenging! Isn't it? I will have to admit that I deeply struggle with this one. Now that my classes are online, it's very easy to just open up social media and drift away from that boring research I was doing for my assignment. Furthermore, my emails are distracting as I am constantly reminded about that 50% discount on clothing from a random website I subscribed to. We all have done countless things like that. Even my Netflix subscriptions start missing me when I am about to cancel it. Distractions are everywhere! However, these things are in our control and therefore we exert more power over them. The frequency with which we check up on them is a key factor in our productivity. I cannot put my devices away as I am constantly using them for work. The thing that helps me is to turn off all the unnecessary notifications and I use the "focus" feature on my device to block out the distractions. You can also try to download apps that work pretty much the same way. Watch out for time gobblers y'all!

Geshna.B❤

If you learn, or reinforce, even one nugget of wisdom from this blog, then it is definitely worth your precious time.😊Consider subscribing to my blog!

And also, I would love to know your time management tips. Do not forget to share it down in the comment section below👇 Thank you!❤

Use powerful affirmations and watch your life change for the better!

 There was a time in my life when I used to be annoyed😓 at the very little things that happened to me. And this question will always pop up: 

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ME? 

Every time anything unpleasant happens, I blame my present circumstances, and to be honest, I tried to be optimistic as well, but things did not appear to improve for me. I needed to do something to improve my attitude about the challenges that life threw at me. Most of the time, I felt weak and out of control. I felt powerless. I relied on others to make me happy. I became reliant on my external circumstances, on my grades, and I began to lose sight of the substance of life. 

 All I knew back then was simply existing. At that time, I felt that there was nothing I could do to change my reality. I kept blaming myself over and over again. We rely too much on the outside world, ignorant about what is going to happen to us. We often forget that we have the power to change our reality by a simple tool that everyone has and that is the MIND. Here is a quote that I would like to share with you!

“Whatever Your Mind Can Conceive and Believe, It Can Achieve.” – Napoleon Hill.

It has not been long since I finally understood what this quote really means. We as human beings can shape our reality and be more in control of our life. We can work things in our favor simply by using AFFIRMATIONS. Yes, affirmations! Affirmations are powerful tools that are utilized in spiritual practices all across the world in the form of mantras!

 What does an affirmation mean?😀

Affirmations are simply short, brief, and repeated sets of words that you tell yourself silently or aloud. Furthermore, you do not need to practice at a specific time; you can do it whenever you like. It might be when you are brushing your teeth in the morning or when you are off to bed at night, it depends on you. The good thing about affirmations is that you do not need to force yourself to believe the things you are saying to yourself, solely by repeating it to you, you will eventually start believing it. 

The science behind this technique is that your subconscious mind picks up the information assuming that it is correct and happening to you. That is another big reason why you should always be affirming the positive for positive outcomes as it will work the same way if you were to affirm the negative.

Examples of positive affirmations ❤ would be:

I am loved and I deserve it.

I am strong and invincible.

I am grateful for all the love in my life.

I believe I can do it.

I am fun to be with!

There are tons of different affirmations out there that you can practice or even make suitable for you! 

Now that you know this trick, practice it daily and feel the change.

Feel free to share a few affirmations with everyone in the comment section!!!😊

How to build a strong self-image?

How to build a strong self-image?💪

What is self-image?

It is, after all, the picture we have of ourselves. The way we see ourselves as individuals. We tend to focus more on our insufficiency, making it difficult to focus on the different characteristics that distinguish us as unique humans with unusual talents. However, some of us here tend to dwell on our inadequacies and feel inept. Doubts begin to take over our thinking. Furthermore, we begin to cultivate the seeds of a negative self-image. 

I want to share a quote by Robert Frost;

Something we were withholding made us weak Until we found out it was ourselves.

Some of us have dreadful mental images of ourselves that we often concentrate on, believing that these are the ONLY images that characterize us. This is who we are, and there is nothing else to it! I don't blame you because everyone's circumstances are different. Most individuals are unaware of their worth. Your self-image develops in childhood, mostly as a result of how your parents treated you as a kid, whether they were helpful or abusive, and these qualities tend to show in our adult life. Fortunately, no matter how wonderfully or terribly we have been treated by our parents or classmates, we can still change our beliefs about ourselves!

How to create a better self-image?

Always remember that your thoughts shape who you are. WHATEVER YOU THINK YOU BECOME. Your subconscious mind will accept any thoughts about yourself that you regularly think, whether it is true or not, and that idea will eventually become part of your self-image.

 Embrace your uniqueness

There is no one like you and there will never be. Let that sink in. No one can do things the same way you do them. You have unique attributes that you only you can cherish.

  You will become whatever you consistently think about yourself. 

Your ideas influence your reality. Whatever you believe, whether it is good or terrible, you become. Successful ideas make a successful person, just as confident thoughts generate a confident person, shy thoughts create a shy person, and successful thoughts create a successful person. You will be able to modify your reality if you change your thinking. 

 

 Love yourself, recognize that you have unlimited power, you can do anything!

Accept yourself as you are, don't attempt to alter yourself for someone else, and don't even try to compare yourself to someone else. You don't have to pretend to be someone else. Once you accept yourself for who you are, you will be free to explore additional parts of yourself, sides of yourself you never knew existed. Remove the strain off attractive individuals. BE YOURSELF and let the universe unfold beautiful surprises for you!